I’m about to write some ugly thoughts but here, have this photo that the working half of my brain can recognize as a nice picture of a decent if unremarkable face, as it’s been a very long time since i’ve been able to look at a photo of myself and think even a fragment of that, momentarily
tomorrow i’m going to buy eyeliner and nice sippin’ whiskey and i couldn’t be more thrilled
I used to take a lot of pride in cheeky costumes that I put a lot of work into but lack of purpose has meant I’ve dialed it in for the last couple of Halloweens. at least I can still take comfort in the fact that my wardrobe is stocked well enough for me to throw something together, call it Extra From a Cure Video and go out and have a night
anyway, I feel my prettiest when I look a little scary
the best time i went to neon liger and ended up sitting next to my high school classmate’s younger sister while she got hit on by some dude and then i had my photo taken by an obnoxious photographer
sorry for ruining the memories of your night out, ladies
sometimes it’s nice to have rosacea because if I put on foundation I don’t need to put on any blush
it is way too difficult to find a photo of a short hairstyle that doesn’t require you to have perfectly straight hair.
I really want to chop off my hair again! It won’t happen until November at the earliest and sometimes when I think about it I start to cry a little, but I feel like it’s something I should do.
- I’m never going to be the person I thought having long hair would make me so why keep it
- I have more reasons to like myself than just my hair
- cutting it off would be a nice fuck-you gesture to the hovering specter of Tom
- it’s just nice to have a change.
BUT. If I’m cutting it off as a symbol of refusing to let my hair define me am I then trying to morph my identity into girl-who-can-pull-off-short-hair? I think that’s a pretty clear identity trope as well.
Of course the fact that I am not a slender sylph of a lady adds more complications to my potential pixie cut. I do have spectacular cheekbones but I am terrified of going around to salons asking for short hair and being once-overed and derisively snorted out of the building.
help. Am I overthinking this? how do I stop doing that?